Real results from our field operations (or at least, the versions we're willing to share). Names changed to protect the slightly embarrassed, details exaggerated for dramatic effect.
Our most celebrated (and least problematic) surveillance success.
Agent successfully infiltrated rival corporation by posing as office foliage. For three months, our operative sat quietly in the corner of the boardroom, recording merger discussions while being watered weekly by unsuspecting office staff.
Client obtained merger details 2 weeks before announcement. Agent received "Employee of the Month" award for "consistent green presence."
Filter through our extensive collection of surveillance operations.
Used trained pigeons to deliver surveillance packages to assets in urban environments. Success rate dependent on bird motivation and availability of breadcrumbs.
Agent working as "temporary mail sorter" for 4 years. Has excellent knowledge of office birthday schedules and who owes whom lunch money.
Agent's cover dog made friends with target's dog. Both dogs now have weekly playdates. Intelligence quality: exceptional. Operational security: questionable.
Agent undercover as barber received terrible Yelp reviews but excellent intelligence on local business community. Specialized in "the corporate fade."
Agent has been "waiting for luggage" at airport carousel for 8 months. Has memorized flight schedules and developed strong opinions about suitcase design.
Agent dialed wrong number, ended up having 3-hour conversation with target's aunt. Now receives holiday cards and pie recipes. Intel value: low. Emotional value: high.
Agent delivered pizzas to corporate offices for 6 months. Remembered everyone's order preferences and used "extra napkins" as listening device covers.
Agent ordered target's usual drink for 47 consecutive days to establish cover. Now has loyalty card with target's name and barista knows "the usual."
Agent posed as bird watcher to surveil lakeside mansion. Became actual bird enthusiast, purchased expensive binoculars, forgot to take notes on human targets.