All communications handled with maximum discretion and plausible deniability. Our methods are unconventional, our responses are unpredictable, and our coffee is always black.
Choose your preferred method of discreet communication. All methods tested and occasionally successful.
Leave messages in specific library books. We recommend the mystery section for added plausibility.
Order specific pastries to convey messages. Delicious, secure, and comes with a free cookie.
Messages appear in newspaper personal sections. Look for ads that sound oddly specific.
Leave messages in specific parking meters. Requires exact change and a good memory.
Our trained pigeons deliver messages. Success rate depends on bird motivation and weather.
Leave messages on specific chess boards in the park. Must know your openings.
Complete the following form to establish secure communications. All fields are required except the ones that aren't.
In case of urgent contact needs, these locations have been pre-vetted for discretion.
Back booth, 2PM daily. Order the "special blend."
Under third slat from left. Check for pigeons.
Study carrel 7B. Bookmark in volume 3.
Room 7, third painting from left. Interpret creatively.
If you need to abort contact or believe you're being watched:
To maintain cover and avoid detection:
How long to wait before assuming we forgot about you (we didn't, probably).
24-48 hours via emergency pigeon or bakery code. Look for specific pastry orders.
3-5 business days via newspaper personal ads or dead drop. Check Sunday editions.
1-2 weeks via library book exchange or park bench drop. Exercise patience.
Variable (depends on bird motivation, weather, and local cat population).