Tools of the Trade

Our R&D department works tirelessly to develop surveillance equipment that's equal parts effective and slightly ridiculous. Each device is field-tested by agents who may or may not understand how it works.

CLASSIFICATION: TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL BUT INNOVATIVE

Specialized Gadget Categories

Organized by surveillance method and questionable legality.

Culinary Surveillance

Gadgets disguised as food items. Because nothing says "covert" like a listening device in your dessert.

23 Edible Devices
84% Success Rate
  • Cookie Cameras
  • Espresso Eavesdroppers
  • Sandwich Signalers
  • Pie Plate Transmitters
Warning: Some devices may be accidentally eaten by hungry agents.

Wearable Tech

Fashion meets function. Our clothing records, transmits, and looks good doing it.

47 Wearable Items
91% Style Rating
  • Tie Transmitters
  • Shoe Trackers
  • Hat Cameras
  • Belt Buckle Bugs
Note: Dry cleaning not recommended for most items.

Botanical Bugs

Plants that listen, flowers that film, shrubs that surveil. Your garden will never be the same.

36 Plant Devices
67% Survival Rate
  • Rose Bush Recorders
  • Fern Filming
  • Cactus Cameras
  • Ivy Internet
Requires weekly watering and occasional talking to for optimal performance.

Animal-Assisted Tech

Why use drones when you can use pigeons? Urban wildlife doing our bidding (mostly).

127 Trained Animals
58% Return Rate
  • Pigeon Packages
  • Squirrel Cams
  • Cat Carriers
  • Doggy Devices
Some pigeons have developed unionizing tendencies. Negotiations ongoing.

Beverage-Based Bugs

Coffee cups that record, water bottles that watch, wine glasses that wiretap.

89 Drink Devices
95% Spill Resistance
  • Espresso Eavesdroppers
  • Tea Cup Trackers
  • Water Bottle Watchers
  • Wine Glass Wiretaps
Dishwasher safe (mostly). Microwave use voids warranty and possibly device.

Executive Equipment

Tools for the boardroom battleground. Because corporate espionage should look professional.

42 Executive Items
88% Boardroom Success
  • Pen Recorders
  • Business Card Bugs
  • Laptop Listeners
  • Watch Watchers
PowerPoint presentations may accidentally activate device functions.

Research & Development Lab

Where great ideas become questionable gadgets.

Our Innovation Process

Every gadget starts as a "what if" question, usually asked over coffee at 3 AM. Our process involves equal parts engineering brilliance and "let's see what happens."

1

The Idea

"What if a pigeon could carry a camera?" Usually followed by extensive bird research.

2

Prototyping

Building the first version. Often involves duct tape and optimistic soldering.

3

Field Testing

Giving it to an agent with instructions like "see if it works." Results vary.

4

Refinement

Fixing the things that caught fire or confused the agent. Adding more duct tape.

5

Deployment

Shipping to agents with crossed fingers and liability waivers.

312
Gadgets Created
47
That Caught Fire
83%
Success Rate

Interactive Gadget Demonstrations

Try our virtual prototypes. No actual surveillance will occur (probably).

Virtual Gadget Testing Interface

SECURITY CLEARANCE: VISITOR

Select a Gadget to Test

Choose from our virtual prototypes below. All demonstrations are completely fictional and possibly impractical.

Power Level
87%
Suspicion Meter
23%

Gadget Support & Maintenance

Because even the best surveillance technology needs occasional help.

Troubleshooting Common Issues

Device won't turn on
Try shaking it. If that doesn't work, check if it's actually a gadget or just a regular household item.
Pigeon not returning
Did you remember the breadcrumbs? Pigeons require motivation. Also check local cat population.
Plant device wilting
Water it. Talk to it. Play some classical music. If all else fails, replace with plastic plant.
Food gadget eaten
Mark as "consumed in operation." Do not attempt to retrieve from digestive system.

Ordering & Delivery

Standard Delivery

3-5 business days via unmarked van. Driver will avoid eye contact.

Avian Express

Delivery by pigeon. Timing depends on bird motivation and weather.

Dead Drop

We'll hide it somewhere and send you cryptic clues to find it.

Need immediate assistance? Use the bakery code phrase: "One chocolate croissant, extra surveillance."