Seeing What Others Don't Since 1987

Specializing in discreet observational methodologies and unconventional intelligence gathering techniques. Our operatives blend in so well, they occasionally forget which side they're on.

2500+
Successful Plant Operations
18,000+
Coffee Cups Disguised as Bugs
66.69
Success Rate*
*when we remember which target

Discreet Operational Methodologies

Our unconventional approaches to information gathering have been described as "creative" and "technically legal in several jurisdictions."

Executive Misdirection

Our agents can attend your competitor's meetings while appearing to be part of the janitorial staff. We provide our own mops.

  • Convincing fake business cards
  • Exceptional coffee-fetching skills
  • Can operate copy machines
BUSINESS CASUAL ATTIRE REQUIRED

Animal-Assisted Surveillance

Why use drones when you can use pigeons? Our specially trained urban wildlife provide inconspicuous coverage.

  • Squirrel-mounted cameras
  • Pigeon-based message delivery
  • Cat distraction operations
PEANUT ALLERGY WAIVER REQUIRED

Culinary Intelligence

Extract information during "casual" dinner parties. Our agents can discuss trade secrets while making perfect soufflés.

  • Recipe-based code phrases
  • Espresso machine listening devices
  • Canapé cameras
FOOD HANDLER'S LICENSE PREFERRED

Unplanned Jogging

Coincidentally jogging past locations of interest at exactly the right time. Every day. For months.

  • Persistent mild sweating
  • Fitness tracker data collection
  • Water bottle cameras
GOOD RUNNING SHOES MANDATORY

Botanical Surveillance

Plants that listen. Trees that watch. Shrubs that report. Your garden has never been more informative.

  • Rose bush listening devices
  • Mobile topiary units
  • Photosynthetic power sources
GREEN THUMB PREFERRED

Fashion-Based Espionage

Ties that record, hats that transmit, shoes that track. Looking good has never been more tactical.

  • Camera-equipped cufflinks
  • GPS-enabled belt buckles
  • Voice recording neckties
FASHION SENSE REQUIRED

Advanced Surveillance Gadgetry

Our R&D department works tirelessly to develop equipment that's equal parts effective and slightly ridiculous.

The "Para-Scope" Umbrella

Looks like a normal umbrella, functions as a parabolic microphone, satellite uplink, and self-defense weapon. Now with 67% less Britishness.

Waterproof Windproof Truthproof

Edible Listening Devices

Our fortune cookies contain more than just vague predictions. They contain high-quality microphones and a delightful almond flavor.

Low-Calorie Gluten-Free Option 8-hour Battery

Smart Newspaper

Looks like today's paper, functions as a wifi hotspot, signal jammer, and emergency escape rope. Crossword puzzle is always completed.

Daily Delivery Ink-Smudge Camouflage Page-Turn Transmitter

Caffeinated Surveillance

Our coffee mugs keep your beverage hot while recording nearby conversations. Battery life matches caffeine half-life.

Stain-Resistant Microwave Safe Dishwasher Regrettable

Important Technological Notice

Some devices may be accidentally left at crime scenes. Our retrieval department has an 83% success rate in recovering equipment before police analysis. Batteries not included in most listening devices.

APPROVED FOR COMMERCIAL USE QUESTIONABLY LEGAL PROBABLY ILLEGAL BUT COOL

Recent Mission Accomplishments

Actual results from our field operations. Names changed to protect the slightly embarrassed.

Operational Metrics

247
Coffee Shops Surveilled
1,892
Awkward Elevator Rides
56
"Lost" Pet Operations
3
Actual Pets Returned

Notable Success

Operation "Wrong Cafe": Agent successfully ordered the target's usual drink 47 consecutive days to establish cover identity. Obtained loyalty card with target's name.

CASE: FLY ON WALL RESOLVED

Boardroom Bug Placement

Agent disguised as potted plant successfully recorded 3 months of merger discussions. Required weekly watering by office staff.

CASE: MAIL ROOM ONGOING

Postal Intercept Operation

Agent working as "temporary mail sorter" has been temporary for 4 years. Has excellent knowledge of office birthday schedules.

CASE: DOG PARK COMPROMISED

Canine-Assisted Reconnaissance

Agent's cover dog made friends with target's dog. Both dogs now have playdates twice weekly. Intelligence quality: exceptional.

Join Our Covert Operations Team

We're always looking for individuals with specific, somewhat unusual skill sets.

FIELD OPERATIONS URGENT HIRING

Professional Line Stander

Ability to wait in queues for extended periods without appearing suspicious. Must own comfortable shoes.

TECHNICAL DIVISION NEW POSITION

Gadget Namer

Creative individual needed to give our surveillance devices clever, non-suspicious names. Experience with puns required.

SUPPORT STAFF PART-TIME

Alibi Coordinator

Create believable cover stories for agents. Experience in creative writing or habitual lying preferred.

RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT INTERNSHIP

Invisibility Cloak Tester

Test prototypes of "low-visibility" clothing. Must have good sense of humor about occasionally being seen.

LOGISTICS FULL-TIME

Untraceable Vehicle Specialist

Maintain fleet of "completely normal" surveillance vehicles. Experience with fake taxi signs a plus.

TRAINING CONTRACT

Forgetting Instructor

Teach agents how to convincingly forget they've met someone before. Amnesia experience not required but helpful.

Establish Contact Protocol

All communications handled with maximum discretion and plausible deniability.

Preferred Contact Methods

Dead Drop Locations

Leave messages in specific library books. We recommend mystery section for added plausibility.

Book titles changed weekly

Bakery Code Phrases

Order specific pastries to convey messages. "One chocolate croissant" means "meet at usual location."

Delicious and secure

Classified Personal Ads

Messages appear in newspaper personal sections. Look for ads mentioning "lonely panda seeks bamboo."

Sunday edition only

If contacted by anyone claiming to be from Spyied, they're probably not. Our real agents would never admit it.

Initiate Contact Sequence

To begin discreet communications, verify your understanding of operational protocols.