We're always looking for individuals with specific, somewhat unusual skill sets. If you can blend into wallpaper, remember faces but forget names, or communicate via pigeon, we want you.
Find your perfect fit in our unconventional organizational structure.
Boots on the ground (or in potted plants). Our field agents are experts at being unremarkable.
Build gadgets that look like ordinary objects but do extraordinary things.
The people who make sure our agents have everything they need (except personal lives).
Work with our furry and feathered operatives. Must not be allergic to greatness (or dander).
For those with a green thumb and a listening ear. Plants that watch, flowers that listen.
Teach new recruits how to be forgettable, unremarkable, and exceptionally ordinary.
These positions require immediate filling (or at least, someone to sit in the chair).
Ability to wait in queues for extended periods without appearing suspicious or developing opinions about the wait time. Must own comfortable shoes and have no pressing engagements.
Creative individual needed to give our surveillance devices clever, non-suspicious names. Must understand that "The Listening Lilly" is funnier than "Audio Capture Device Model 7-B."
Filter through our extensive collection of unconventional career opportunities.
Create believable cover stories for agents. Experience in creative writing or habitual lying preferred.
Test prototypes of "low-visibility" clothing. Must have good sense of humor about occasionally being seen.
Maintain fleet of "completely normal" surveillance vehicles. Experience with fake taxi signs a plus.
Teach agents how to convincingly forget they've met someone before. Amnesia experience not required but helpful.
Manage our avian messaging system. Must speak basic pigeon and understand breadcrumb-based motivation.
Maintain and troubleshoot our botanical surveillance equipment. Green thumb required, talking to plants encouraged.
How to join our ranks (assuming we remember to check applications).
Submit your application via dead drop, bakery code, or the form below. We'll receive it within 3-5 business days (or one pigeon flight).
We'll observe you without your knowledge for 2-3 weeks. Try to act natural (or unnaturally natural, if that makes sense).
Meet at a neutral location (coffee shop, park bench, library). We'll ask questions like "What's your favorite boring hobby?"
We'll investigate your background. If you have no interesting history, you're perfect. If you do, we'll probably still hire you.
We'll contact you via your chosen method. If you don't hear back, you either didn't get the job or we forgot to send the message.
Complete this form to begin your journey into professional unremarkableness.
What you get for pretending you don't work here.
Our most important benefit. Coffee available 24/7, in various states of freshness.
$200 annual allowance for trenchcoat maintenance and mysterious accessory purchases.
Assigned pigeon for personal use. Responsible for feeding and listening to bird complaints.
Full department dedicated to creating and maintaining your cover identities.
Work from anywhere that has wifi and plausible deniability. Or just a good park bench.
If caught, we'll deny knowing you. If successful, we'll still deny knowing you. Consistency!